We don’t have a plethora of choices when it comes to cell phone companies in Great Falls. I have stuck with the same company for over 7 years, and don’t really have any complaints. I REALLY am dying to have an iPhone, but who knows when or if that day will ever come. As a special treat, when I replaced my old phone, I went for a Blackberry Pearl. I was thrilled to have what they call a “smart phone.” Only thing is, it isn’t so smart. I have had nothing but trouble with it since I took the shiny red goodness out of the box.

I decided my introductory period was over. If I hadn’t figured out the difficulties it actually was the phone, not my being too dumb to figure it out. I walked into the store holding my very special phone and I was greeted by a monotone, “What can I do for you?” You knew when he spoke it was only because he was forced to. I described for the guy my frustration with vanishing texts, and a rollerball that worked only half the time. He took the phone, and for the next 45 minutes never spoke another word to me. He was 2 feet across from me, and made no attempt at small talk, didn’t explain to me what he was doing to my phone, and acted as though he didn’t want me anywhere near him.

I spent this 45 minutes trying to explain away what his problem was. Was he in a bad mood because he just get evicted from his apartment? Is he so painfully shy he can’t speak? Has he been hired as part of a program to help “special” people get jobs? Did he miss the day of job training that explained customer service etiquette? Or…could it be that he is just an ass?

I became increasingly uncomfortable with this silence. It was like I was a kid getting the silent treatment from a friend. I tried to say a few things to break the awkward hush hush. No response…nothing. Wow, really? He can’t even answer me? After our shared eon of quiet he decided to speak. “Here’s the deal…your phone is broken. Your are going to get a new one in the mail. When you get it, bring it back in.” After he showed off his ability to string 26 words together, he gave me my old, torn up, sad phone and that was it.

I stood there, looking unintelligent, not sure if this interaction was really over. More silence. I finally just got up and went to my car. Once in my car I realized that EVERYTHING had been erased from my phone. The address book that I had painstakingly plugged in one letter at a time was gone without warning. My charming phone guy never even whispered to me that ALL of my info would be lost, and if there was anything I needed from the phone I had a minute to retrieve it. Nope, he just handed me back a blank slate.

My new phone arrived and I did as he commanded. I brought it back to the store. When I walked in the door, there was Mr. Personality. I did everything in my power to avoid getting his appalling service. I even pretended to be looking at phones so that other customers were forced to endure him. I paced thinking “PLEASE let me get the friendly blond girl.” Sadly, if finally came down to Mr. Talky and I once again. Could I say, “No thanks, I am going to wait for somebody else to help me.” Nope. With my head down, feeling defeated, I walked over to his station.

He said, “Oh, it came it.” He grabbed both of my phones and started working his secret cellphone wizardry. When he looked up from his work, he wouldn’t even look me in the face. He looked PAST me, as if he was trying to avoid looking me in the eyes. Next thing I know, he gets up and walks away. I am sitting there speculating where he went. Was I so unbearable that he couldn’t sit across from me and do his work? Did he go out back to shoot my old phone? 10 minutes passed and he finally moseyed in from the back room. He finished chewing before he sat down, and then wiped crumbs off of his face. Apparently doing his job had interrupted his meal time.

Mr. Charisma handed me my phone, and with his final words of wisdom said, “There.”